So I realized this Saturday as I was in tears, screaming at the taxi that had just tried to side swipe me, and driving back from the science festival that was supposed to be open but wasn't.......that my honeymoon love affair with Abu Dhabi is officially OVER.
Gone is the "wow this place is so nice and warm" "it's great here" "it's not so bad" and amusement at the terrible driving. Replacing them are "why is it still so f*cking hot" "seriously I don't understand how things can be THIS messed up" "I hate it here" and a bitter, angry resentment at every single other driver in the city.
Now let me clarify, I don't actually hate it here most days. But now there is definitely the odd day creeping in here and there that I just want to go home. I know I have it good here in Abu Dhabi compared to the rest of the Middle East, but part of me is starting to remember how good it was back home EVERY day. Unfortunately that part of my brain also seems to have forgotten that a good part of the year back home is spent below 0 degrees C!!!!!
This country is not that bad really, it allows us expats to celebrate pagan holidays such as Halloween, and even provides decorations and candy in the stores. Apparently at Christmas there is a Santa in the mall and you can buy trees and decorations. This puts it light years ahead of other countries in this region. I can get pretty much any type of food I can imagine here, and the shopping is world class. There are lots of classes and activities in English for Reese, fabulous schooling and lots of things to see and do in the region.
But it is definitely NOT home.
And even though home is heading into winter, and the roads are about to become complete and utter crap for the next 5-6 months, and we have to pay tax there, it is still home. I miss the change of seasons, the smell of fall and the colours on the trees. I miss the cool days and the crisp mornings and evenings. I miss the anticipation of the first snow(and yes I know some of you roll your eyes at this but I still find the first snow exciting as it means that ski season is just THAT much closer!!!) I miss my family, I miss my friends, I miss being cold and I miss the mountains. I miss Calgary and I miss working as a nurse.
I think the love affair has ended for my husband as well, and we are now looking at the next 18 months with a big sigh and an "all right we chose this....ready....steady..........GO" kind of attitude. We will unfortunately not be home this Christmas, which when we made the decision didn't seem all that bad, but now it is a tad disheartening.
But, the Burwell family are definitely adventurers, so we will try something new this Christmas. We will go to the beach on Christmas Day, which is something that none of us have ever done before. And we will make it through the next 18 months here in the desert.
Hopefully our next project will take us closer to home.
Gone is the "wow this place is so nice and warm" "it's great here" "it's not so bad" and amusement at the terrible driving. Replacing them are "why is it still so f*cking hot" "seriously I don't understand how things can be THIS messed up" "I hate it here" and a bitter, angry resentment at every single other driver in the city.
Now let me clarify, I don't actually hate it here most days. But now there is definitely the odd day creeping in here and there that I just want to go home. I know I have it good here in Abu Dhabi compared to the rest of the Middle East, but part of me is starting to remember how good it was back home EVERY day. Unfortunately that part of my brain also seems to have forgotten that a good part of the year back home is spent below 0 degrees C!!!!!
This country is not that bad really, it allows us expats to celebrate pagan holidays such as Halloween, and even provides decorations and candy in the stores. Apparently at Christmas there is a Santa in the mall and you can buy trees and decorations. This puts it light years ahead of other countries in this region. I can get pretty much any type of food I can imagine here, and the shopping is world class. There are lots of classes and activities in English for Reese, fabulous schooling and lots of things to see and do in the region.
But it is definitely NOT home.
And even though home is heading into winter, and the roads are about to become complete and utter crap for the next 5-6 months, and we have to pay tax there, it is still home. I miss the change of seasons, the smell of fall and the colours on the trees. I miss the cool days and the crisp mornings and evenings. I miss the anticipation of the first snow(and yes I know some of you roll your eyes at this but I still find the first snow exciting as it means that ski season is just THAT much closer!!!) I miss my family, I miss my friends, I miss being cold and I miss the mountains. I miss Calgary and I miss working as a nurse.
I think the love affair has ended for my husband as well, and we are now looking at the next 18 months with a big sigh and an "all right we chose this....ready....steady..........GO" kind of attitude. We will unfortunately not be home this Christmas, which when we made the decision didn't seem all that bad, but now it is a tad disheartening.
But, the Burwell family are definitely adventurers, so we will try something new this Christmas. We will go to the beach on Christmas Day, which is something that none of us have ever done before. And we will make it through the next 18 months here in the desert.
Hopefully our next project will take us closer to home.
Oh Rachel, that sucks. I'll complain to you about snow when it comes if it makes you feel better! But...let me tell you that Christmas at the beach rocks. If you can find a surfing Santa it's even better :) Just cook a turkey (if you can find turkey there???), and it will still feel a little like Christmas. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteAh Rachel that stinks. I know that you will make the best of it and have some great experiences along the way - but yes, when you are where your heart is not - BOOOO!! Hang in there! The beach sounds great ;)
ReplyDeleteIm in my 5th year here now from the UK, and in my experience what you are feeling now is very typical and quite normal. It will get better and as you build a network of friends for support , find somewhere you are happy living (maybe you already do?) etc, it will ease. Home of course will always be home, but don't fall into the rose tinted glasses trap....
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